Getting out of the All or Nothing mentality
Do you find yourself swinging back and forth between good and bad days? One day you do everything “perfect” and the next day is a complete disaster? When you’re doing good, everything is easy and you’re making the right food choices, exercising and feeling great. When you’re doing bad, all the comfort foods sneak back in, the exercise goes out the window and the guilt and self-loathing starts creeping in. It’s a dangerous and slippery slope. Maybe you’ve even had good and bad weeks or good and bad months. The all-or-nothing game is not only unhealthy but it’s exhausting and it will never, ever work. Read that again: the all-or-nothing mentality does not work. Aren’t you ready to try a new approach and get out of the feeling of being trapped?
Why all-or-nothing doesn’t work
If you’ve started identifying certain foods as “good” or “bad,” then you’ve already assigned a negative energy to the “bad” foods. That means if YOU eat that food, you are also bad (in your subconscious mind that is). After all, anyone who is good will only eat good foods, right? If you’ve tried this road before, you already know the way it goes. No one can eat perfectly “good” all the time. So when you’re in the “good” phase and you eat a “bad” food, you’re already beating yourself up before you even clean up the plate. Then, the guilt, shame and negative self-talk starts. Why did I do that? Why did I mess up? Now I feel bad. Well, since I messed up a little, I might as all go for it. What other “bad” food do I want? And before you know it, you’re out of control and back in the “bad” day, week or month phase.
It’s a viscous cycle that will never be broken unless you start looking at your food and yourself in a different way. Because really, it’s not even about the food. It’s about you!
Stop the old thinking
Remember, the thoughts you have now are creating your future. Telling yourself that you’re not good enough hasn’t worked for years and will only set you up for a future of not feeling good enough. What if you are good enough right now? Get out of the negative self-talk. It will never serve your greater good and it will never help you feel better.
If you catch yourself slipping down the self-loathing slope, STOP your thought. Replace it with a more positive thought. Try these positive affirmations. Repeat over and over until you start to feel better:
- I am who I am and who I am is okay!
- Today is a new day and a new beginning, a chance to be whomever I want to be.
- I let go of old limitations. I am at peace with myself. I am motivated!
- I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.
- I am in the process of making positive changes in all areas of my life.
Reward yourself (yes, it’s okay!)
This goes completely against where you were before so brace yourself. See your “good” foods as the nutrient-dense and health-filled choices you make every day to support your journey towards better health. Then, look at your “bad” foods as a reward food or comfort food to treat yourself for all the great work you’ve done all week.
Start with a “treat day” once a week. Choose one favorite drink and one favorite food. (No, you can’t fill your cart with a week’s worth of junk and gorge yourself all day. It doesn’t work like that!) Get the best quality and most expensive version of your favorite food because you deserve the very best. Eat that food with pride and joy.
Whoah! Stop right there! That’s a real head spinner if you’ve been beating yourself up for eating that “bad” food all these years. How can you suddenly be rewarded for something you always thought saw as your weakness or a mistake?
You’re only 100% human. No one is asking you to be 100% perfect. Do you know anyone who has never made a mistake? Forgive yourself for any and all mistakes you made in the past. You are worthy! The future is where your power lies. You’re doing the very best you can, and when you know more, you will do better! Changing the way you look at yourself will help you to change the way you look at your food, and that will also help you to change the way you look at yourself. Get it? 😉 Good!
You only get a treat day if you’ve done good all week. That’s how it works.
After 1 month, spread out your “treat day” to once every 2 weeks. You can also use your reward day for a party, wedding or special occasion, but in general it’s best to choose to same day, say Friday or Saturday. After 3 months, you’re ready to have just one treat day per month. Life is quite comfortable and joyful when you still occasionally get to indulge.
Remember, one treat day per month means that 353 days per year you are eating well. 12 days per year you’re rewarding yourself for a job well done. Over the course of your life, can you see where the power lies? You’re doing SO MUCH GOOD for your body and your health! Inhale, exhale. You can do this!
(Here’s the real secret: Over time, you won’t have to count your reward days because you will naturally make the right choices and eventually you won’t even want those reward foods anymore. It happens organically and easily when you change the way you think!)
4-hour or 4-minute or 4-second diets will never work because they keep you in the instant result mindset. Think healthy habits for a long and happy life instead!
How to stop the cycle
If you need a good reminder & support, print out the next section and put it on your fridge or vision board:
- One Green Smoothie a day is better than none.
- 20 minutes of exercise is better than none.
- One raw food meal (salad, green juice or smoothie) per day is better than none.
- You can’t get results if you don’t start. Sooner is better than later.
- Never give up. Always try your best. If you get off track, go back to #1.
You can break the cycle of the all or nothing mentality. No one is born an expert. Everyone has to work hard to get results. But, you have to do the work and you have to work at it every day. It’s okay to reward yourself for a job well done. You are the master of your destiny. You have the power to create the life you want. Start by loving yourself …..and watch as the transformation unfolds.
For more on how to achieve your health goals and actually start feeling great, book a private health consult with me via Skype.
How to Book Your Health & Nutritional Coaching Session:
1. Take photos of your eyes with a digital camera.
2. Email the photos to me for approval.
3. We schedule a time to meet via phone or Skype!
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