How to Handle Negative or Jealous People and Still Stay Positive!

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Did you ever come home after doing a detox, cleanse or juice fast, feeling on top of the world and in your healthy glow, only to have one of your friends or co-workers kill your joy ride with a negative remark? Did you ever post a picture on Facebook after losing weight or healing yourself in some way, feeling so proud of the work you’ve done, just to have a friend leave a comment that was less than complimentary? Did you recently achieve something special, like writing a book (a-hem) or getting a promotion at work and you noticed a particular person in your life made a sideways comment that was actually somewhat derogatory?

Even if you receive 99 genuine and praising compliments for your efforts, you can hang on to that 1 nasty comment and just feel terrible for days. And feeling bad is NOT good for your health! Could that person actually be jealous of you? Or are they just perpetually caught in the negative, and never actually happy for you in the way you are happy for their success?

One of the sad parts about changing your diet and your lifestyle for the better is that some people around you may not be so supportive or happy to see you change. Jealousy is, without a doubt, an ugly beast, and once it rears its ugly head, it can be hard for it to go away. What can you do if you suspect that your friend, co-worker or family member is actually jealous of you? How do you deal with negativity when you feel so positive, happy and healthy? If you want the best for everyone around you, why don’t they also want the best for you?

Remember: What other people think of you is none of YOUR business!

How can you respond to a jealous or negative comment?

1. Do NOT take things personally! Usually when someone is actively negative, it has absolutely everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. You might actually notice that the person in question makes comments about everyone in a bad way, so no matter what you do or don’t do, you will be a topic of conversation for them.

2. Remember: What other people think about you is none of your business! You rocked this world with your successes and you should own that success. Be proud of yourself and stand tall! No one knows how hard you worked and no one has the right to judge you.

3. You cannot and never will please everyone. It’s just not possible, so let go of having to make everyone happy! Do your best to be compassionate, loving, genuine and honest but know that sometimes people will still not like you, even if you are a good person, and that’s okay! People even find reasons to not like the Dalai Lama, so come on!

4. Choose not to comment. Take the higher ground with negativity and simply do not acknowledge it. Look at it as a spiritual challenge and an opportunity to grow emotionally. Letting go of the need to reply is truly a remarkable release and you will find so much freedom there! Plus, it stops the energy of negativity dead in its tracks. Remember, you cannot have an argument with only one person. Think of yourself as bamboo, strong in your form but flexible to move in the wind. You can withstand any storm as long as you stay focused in your strength!

5. Be kind but practice safe distancing. If you see a pattern in one person who is continuously jabbing you with snide comments, then you should think about whether or not you want to have that person in your life. You are precious and your time is precious, so choose who you give your time to wisely. I often think the best thing to do is to be as compassionate and kind as you can but slowly distance yourself from the person, making it clear that you are not available. They will either change their tune and start getting more positive on their own, or they will set their sights to something or someone else.

When in doubt, send them love!

If you are absolutely unsure what to do with the negative Nelly in your life, then simply send them love! Especially if you catch yourself caught in the midst of “What?” “Why?” “How could they?” “Don’t they know that….” then it’s time to stop, close your eyes, and take a long deep breath. Visualize a huge white ray of love and light wrapping itself around Nelly filling him or her with Divine unconditional love. Watch and wait what happens. You will be amazed to see the change. Sometimes it’s even instant!

What if you feel envious of someone else?

Don’t beat yourself for being human if you have the occasional feeling of envy. It’s normal to feel a slight pang of envy when you see someone enjoying success. But, if you feel yourself being spiteful or speaking untruths about someone just to better your own position, then you need to get yourself in check. You will never reach your full healing potential if you stay stuck in the gutter of negativity, and the only person who continues to suffer is you! Jealousy is a monster of a negative emotion. It can literally make your liver run hot, stress your adrenal glands, deplete your body of minerals and make you more acidic just from the buildup of negative emotions. On the flip side, feeling mof compassion, love, acceptance, happiness and joy are all extremely alkalizing for the body and good for your health.

If you want success, then do not compare yourself to the person sitting next to you. You are not competing against anyone in this life but you. Focus on your own path and stay in tune with your goals. Remember: No one even achieved anything when they stopped trying, and no one is ever born an expert. Read success stories for motivation and know that if that one person achieved their goal, then you can too!

Take some added inspiration from these successful “failures”!

Often times, right behind a person’s biggest fear is their greatest success!

Now go out there and show the world a healthy, beautiful, positive and successful YOU!

What’s your favorite success quote that helps to keep you focused? Share it in the comments below!

Staying positive and steering clear of negativity is just one part of living a happy, healthy life. For more on how to start your Health Coaching for Success, book a private health consult with me via Skype.

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Why I left Koh Samui, Thailand and Why I moved to Tel Aviv, Israel

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This is a question I get asked A LOT, and I’m excited to share the answer with you! Read on to find out why!

When I first left my engineering job at Merck to cycle around the world more than 13 years ago, people told me I was crazy. They said I was committing “career suicide.” They said no one would ever hire me again and after traveling for so long. Luckily, I didn’t care what people thought and I did what I wanted to do. I traveled and cycled my way around SE Asia, New Zealand and Australia for 3 years and eventually settled in Koh Samui, Thailand after battling with my own illness and deciding to dedicate my life’s work to helping other people reverse disease and heal themselves naturally. It didn’t take long for people to change their tune and start to say, “How did you do it?” and “I want to live your life!”

The beaches of Tel Aviv are clean and quiet, especially during the week!

In Samui, I worked relentlessly day and night, learning and offering Iridology analyses, helping clients on their detox programs, teaching health and nutrition class, building a website from scratch all on my own and developing contacts all over SE Asia to present workshops and work in various countries. In 6 years, I don’t remember even having 1 day off. Clients came to my house at every hour of the day and night asking for detox support and health coaching services. Because I cared so much about each and every client’s health and success, I had a hard time learning how to say “No.”

The southern end of Tel Aviv beach looks over to historic Jaffa

Why I left Koh Samui, Thailand

I learned so much in the time that I was in Samui and I am forever grateful to all of my clients and colleagues for co-creating a fantastic destination for fasting, detox, yoga and health and wellness. And I LOVED living in Thailand. But eventually, it was simply time for a change. Not only did I feel like I wanted and needed new challenges in my life, but I was also craving a “regular” environment where people worked hard all week and then had time to enjoy their life on the weekends, just like everyone else. I realized that I wasn’t really helping my clients if I left nothing for myself. I knew that I needed to have time fill my “cup” too and also to make time for a loving relationship. And ok, I imagined a world where I could simply eat a meal in a restaurant where no one would approach me to show me a picture of their shit (yes, that happened a lot!) and then I realized, I think it might be time to leave Koh Samui!

In Tel Aviv, you can find fresh juice and smoothie bars everywhere, year-round

Why I moved to Tel Aviv, Israel

In the 2 years before leaving Samui, I traveled a lot and I visited many places, including Dubai and Israel. I knew I wanted a warm climate and plenty of fresh, organic foods available year-round as well as a place that was near the beach. I first went to Israel to attend the Gabriel Cousens green juice fast, and I can honestly say that I fell in love with the place! The climate was just perfect and the desert foods were such a welcomed and exciting change to my diet. For a raw foodie, Israel is a really easy place to live. I went on to visit Israel another 3 times and on my last trip, I met my boyfriend, an Israeli. Suddenly, I had a lot more interest in the idea of moving to Israel!

A delicious Acai Bowl from the juice stand at Ben Gurion and Dizengoff, Tel Aviv

My boyfriend wound up coming back to Thailand with me and we stayed there together for a few months before I finally packed up my bags and left. It was a very silent tip-toe departure mainly because I didn’t want to answer the questions, “Why?” and “Where will you go?” before I even knew the answers myself. We decided to take our time traveling and exploring some areas of the world that I considered moving to including Panama, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Colombia, and Ecuador. After more than 1 year of traveling, we just didn’t find exactly what we were looking for: beach, organic food, nice people, good friends, high speed internet and enough safety to go for a run or walk on my own.

You can find organic produce at farmer’s markets in Tel Aviv or better yet, get it delivered to your door!

We arrived to Israel in July 2013 and since then, we’ve been slowly settling into life here. We live in Tel Aviv, 300m from the beach and a 3-minute walk from an organic market. We receive an organic CSA food delivery every week to our door, we have friends, and every day I can walk or run for miles right along the Mediterranean Sea.

The Yin and Yang

It’s definitely a unique cultural experience to live in Israel. Sometimes people ask me, “Why do you live in Israel if you are not Jewish?” or “How could you choose to live in such a dangerous place?” (In the same way that you don’t have to be Hindu to live in Bali and you don’t have to be Buddhist to live in Thailand, you also don’t have to be Jewish to live in Israel.)

The port of Tel Aviv is lined with cafes all along the Mediterranean Sea

I can say that in general, the city of Tel Aviv is very safe and not reflective of what you see on the news. There is a very large gay community in Tel Aviv. Recently, the city itself was voted #1 for nightlife by Lonely Planet. In the last 2 years, there has been a huge vegan movement that has swept over the city and most restaurants now offer a regular Meatless Monday dish on the menu. There are a lot of young people living here, it’s right on the beach and you can walk or ride a bike anywhere you need to go.

In short, I think the citizens here just want peace but the government leaders can’t seem to agree. Isn’t that the case pretty much everywhere in the world?

You can walk or cycle for miles along the footpath next to Tel Aviv beach

As much as there is conflict in certain areas of Israel, in other areas you can experience such amazing waves of transformation, spirituality, light, consciousness, and love. Next to the dark there is always light. Next to yang, you must have yin. If you come to Israel and focus on the yin, you can feel a deep spiritual awareness like something you have never felt before.

Favorite Foods

If you love healthy food, then you already have the best reason ever to visit Israel. Everywhere here you can find large vegan salads and fresh juices. You can even order green smoothies at some juice bars too! There is plenty of organic food and also great Middle Eastern food like tahini, hummus, grilled eggplant (baladi), parsley salad (tabouleh), lentils and rice (mujadara) and tons of other vegan and vegetarian options.

Fresh olives alone are a reason to visit Israel!

Did I mention the dates? Yes, truly raw food heaven! And you can taste them for free!

A warm climate means many restaurants are outdoor in Israel – this one is just opening for the day

Nothing is Permanent!

I’m now enjoying set working hours and designated days off every week and feeling much more balance between my work and private life than I did while living in Koh Samui, Thailand. I enjoy living near the beach and I am proud to say that we now eat 100% organic food at home. They always say that when we trust and let go of fear, the universe falls into place and that’s exactly what happened to me when I got a new book deal within 1 week of arriving to Israel last year! So, will I stay in Israel forever? Or will I be off to a new destination and another adventure? Well, you’re going to have to stay tuned because I have no idea! One thing I do know is nothing is permanent in life; you just have to enjoy every day as it comes!

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