Did you ever come home after doing a detox, cleanse or juice fast, feeling on top of the world and in your healthy glow, only to have one of your friends or co-workers kill your joy ride with a negative remark? Did you ever post a picture on Facebook after losing weight or healing yourself in some way, feeling so proud of the work you’ve done, just to have a friend leave a comment that was less than complimentary? Did you recently achieve something special, like writing a book (a-hem) or getting a promotion at work and you noticed a particular person in your life made a sideways comment that was actually somewhat derogatory?
Even if you receive 99 genuine and praising compliments for your efforts, you can hang on to that 1 nasty comment and just feel terrible for days. And feeling bad is NOT good for your health! Could that person actually be jealous of you? Or are they just perpetually caught in the negative, and never actually happy for you in the way you are happy for their success?
One of the sad parts about changing your diet and your lifestyle for the better is that some people around you may not be so supportive or happy to see you change. Jealousy is, without a doubt, an ugly beast, and once it rears its ugly head, it can be hard for it to go away. What can you do if you suspect that your friend, co-worker or family member is actually jealous of you? How do you deal with negativity when you feel so positive, happy and healthy? If you want the best for everyone around you, why don’t they also want the best for you?
How can you respond to a jealous or negative comment?
1. Do NOT take things personally! Usually when someone is actively negative, it has absolutely everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. You might actually notice that the person in question makes comments about everyone in a bad way, so no matter what you do or don’t do, you will be a topic of conversation for them.
2. Remember: What other people think about you is none of your business! You rocked this world with your successes and you should own that success. Be proud of yourself and stand tall! No one knows how hard you worked and no one has the right to judge you.
3. You cannot and never will please everyone. It’s just not possible, so let go of having to make everyone happy! Do your best to be compassionate, loving, genuine and honest but know that sometimes people will still not like you, even if you are a good person, and that’s okay! People even find reasons to not like the Dalai Lama, so come on!
4. Choose not to comment. Take the higher ground with negativity and simply do not acknowledge it. Look at it as a spiritual challenge and an opportunity to grow emotionally. Letting go of the need to reply is truly a remarkable release and you will find so much freedom there! Plus, it stops the energy of negativity dead in its tracks. Remember, you cannot have an argument with only one person. Think of yourself as bamboo, strong in your form but flexible to move in the wind. You can withstand any storm as long as you stay focused in your strength!
5. Be kind but practice safe distancing. If you see a pattern in one person who is continuously jabbing you with snide comments, then you should think about whether or not you want to have that person in your life. You are precious and your time is precious, so choose who you give your time to wisely. I often think the best thing to do is to be as compassionate and kind as you can but slowly distance yourself from the person, making it clear that you are not available. They will either change their tune and start getting more positive on their own, or they will set their sights to something or someone else.
When in doubt, send them love!
If you are absolutely unsure what to do with the negative Nelly in your life, then simply send them love! Especially if you catch yourself caught in the midst of “What?” “Why?” “How could they?” “Don’t they know that….” then it’s time to stop, close your eyes, and take a long deep breath. Visualize a huge white ray of love and light wrapping itself around Nelly filling him or her with Divine unconditional love. Watch and wait what happens. You will be amazed to see the change. Sometimes it’s even instant!
What if you feel envious of someone else?
Don’t beat yourself for being human if you have the occasional feeling of envy. It’s normal to feel a slight pang of envy when you see someone enjoying success. But, if you feel yourself being spiteful or speaking untruths about someone just to better your own position, then you need to get yourself in check. You will never reach your full healing potential if you stay stuck in the gutter of negativity, and the only person who continues to suffer is you! Jealousy is a monster of a negative emotion. It can literally make your liver run hot, stress your adrenal glands, deplete your body of minerals and make you more acidic just from the buildup of negative emotions. On the flip side, feeling mof compassion, love, acceptance, happiness and joy are all extremely alkalizing for the body and good for your health.
If you want success, then do not compare yourself to the person sitting next to you. You are not competing against anyone in this life but you. Focus on your own path and stay in tune with your goals. Remember: No one even achieved anything when they stopped trying, and no one is ever born an expert. Read success stories for motivation and know that if that one person achieved their goal, then you can too!
Take some added inspiration from these successful “failures”!
Now go out there and show the world a healthy, beautiful, positive and successful YOU!
What’s your favorite success quote that helps to keep you focused? Share it in the comments below!
Staying positive and steering clear of negativity is just one part of living a happy, healthy life. For more on how to start your Health Coaching for Success, book a private health consult with me via Skype.